I've recently been give pep talks by my parents to start job hunting. It's hard to believe that this time next year, I'll be a Louisiana Tech alumna. Some of me is ready to make money and get in the real world, yet I find myself terrified of really growing up. No longer will I spend breaks and summers at home, I won't have my parents constantly reminding me to clean my room or ask me to clean house on my days off and if I immediately make it to Boston, I'll only be home twice a year due to air fare costs.
I'm a planner. I have everything written down on my calendar. I always have to-do lists going, and I love seeing them get checked off. While I pray daily that I can go through with my Boston plans, I'm scared of failure. I think that's why I've been scared of the idea of love - I'm a happy sappy person, but when a guy shows interest, I shy away instead of open up to the idea of it. I'm scared of falling in love with the wrong person, getting married and find myself mid-life lying awake at night, miserable.
I'm scared to get my heart broken and make mistakes I'll regret later. It's all of this combined that makes me amazed at the uncertainty in life. When I decided to go to Tech, I knew I was making the right choice. I needed to get away, and I love looking at all I've accomplished. I was reading my journal entries from senior year yesterday. I love how I wasn't sure of where I was going or if I love what I was going into. A senior at Tech now, still in the field of journalism, I know all the decisions I've made are correct. I hope the path my life continues to lead is one I'll look back on and feel proud of.