What Makes Love True

As an avid Tiffany & Co. fan, it's no surprise I have their apps on my iPhone and receive daily emails. Something as of late has caught my eye recently, though. They came out with a new campaign all about true love. It's filled with people's individual love stories and how they came to be.
Considering I've never been in love or anywhere near it, I'm always a slight skeptic as to what the definition of love is. I know when that right person comes along, I'll know. Until then, I'll have tear-stained cheeks from these sweet stories of old childhood sweethearts reconnected and people who never thought would fall in love that do.
Until I move to Boston and get established, I'm closed to finding love. And as crazy as that sounds, I have much self-improvement to be done.

Friday night, I saw What's Your Number. According to a lot of people I know who wouldn't see the movie, they would claim it's one of those trashy films that's all about sex and is garbage. Within the first five minutes of the movie, I knew it was set in Boston. And here's a spoiler - in the end, Annie chooses to stay in Boston over this mega loaded guy. Granted, there was another hot guy in the picture for her to go to, but the fact is she chose the city she loved. And what was it? Boston.
Though I graduate in May, I constantly worry about just getting there. If I opt not to go to grad school, my latest prayer is I can land a job that'll allow means for me to get up there, be able to live on something more than peanut butter sandwiches (no jelly).

Anyways, that's my Boston rant for the day. Thanks for reading :)

Glorieta 2011

Every year, my church college group takes a trip out to New Mexico to join with 2,000 other college students in a Fuge-like camp. I'm always taught something new and refreshing, but I must say I learned the most this year.
This past school year, I made so many wrong decisions. I put my Christian walk on the backburner to do things that pleased me and made me feel content. I drank more than I expected, let others influence me in the wrong way and put God last. I knew some of the choices I made up till last week were wrong, yet I chose to look God in the eyes and say, "no," rather than taking responsibility and not falling under Satan's trap.
Since I've been home, I've apologized to God and others for my actions, found ways to better my walk with Christ and have made positive changes.

A main topic this week was marriage, dating and singleness. I got a ton of positive information on all three aspects and raised my standards with what I look for in a mate. I also was around people who have the exact views on dating as me. I have high standards and don't seek to settle. If I never find someone, I'll be happy knowing I have Jesus (though I really, really, really want someone to spend my life with).

Another thing that I learned to deal with is people's thoughts of me. I learned you can't have the world and Jesus. I let other friends influence me in negative ways, rather than not spending as much time around them and focusing on bettering myself. I realized I have to have people constantly building me up for His glory rather than shooting me down and causing me to stumble. So yeah, I know this sounds judgmental, but frankly, I don't care. Call me what you want - but I don't need people's approval to get through life.
I used to care what people thought of me and hated stepping on toes, but honestly, I don't care anymore.
I can't please everyone, nor should I try. If I lose friends, who cares? I have some of the best, godliest friends anyone could ask for who will be there for me regardless. I don't need the world's approval on things, nor do I care about their opinion on my life.

So, in lieu of my senior year, I'm going in as the Sarah who has her heart set on Boston and pleasing Him rather than others. I know friendships will probably end and I'll feel alone, but all I need is Jesus.

Men

Here's to you, men.

So here's my confusion on men and why they call women "complicated" and can't seem to read us. Brace yourself...stuff's about to go down.

Honestly, men out there, women aren't as complicated as you think - genuine ones, at least. The good girls you want to marry and be all soccer-daddy with aren't on some other planet. My biggest pet peeve with today's men is how easily they settle. They find a girl they like (typically a size two girl with few morals) and try to make things work. Know what's wrong here? Men would go for the not so attractive thin girl in heels and a miniskirt over the curvaceous size 14 girl who's gorgeous and has standards.

Don't get me wrong...physical attraction is a big thing for me. That's the first thing you see, and for me, it doesn't matter what other people think of him - what do I think of him?

While the green is good and somewhat promising, I'd rather have that one guy who calls me the moment he gets off work, talks and isn't degrading to women. Finding a man like that is like finding a polar bear in Louisiana - nearly impossible.

So men...don't be so shallow, if you like a girl, tell her (chances are she digs you too) and if you feel things aren't going in the direction of a relationship, and she's dropping hints it is, tell her straight. Tell a girl the moment she hits the "friend zone" (I really loathe that term).

So that's my spiel. Man up and get the girl. Follow your dreams. Tell a girl immediately how you feel. Tell her if it changes. Otherwise, you'll be forced to settle and it'll be too late.

Okay...and my grand finale:
If you recently break up (guys and girls) don't find that "rebound" person. There are plenty of other ways to fill that void...someone to temporarily please you won't do it. Chances are one person will be hurt in the end. Speaking from my successful relationships, I'm not one to talk, but it's my opinion from the sidelines.

The Future

I've recently been give pep talks by my parents to start job hunting. It's hard to believe that this time next year, I'll be a Louisiana Tech alumna. Some of me is ready to make money and get in the real world, yet I find myself terrified of really growing up. No longer will I spend breaks and summers at home, I won't have my parents constantly reminding me to clean my room or ask me to clean house on my days off and if I immediately make it to Boston, I'll only be home twice a year due to air fare costs.
I'm a planner. I have everything written down on my calendar. I always have to-do lists going, and I love seeing them get checked off. While I pray daily that I can go through with my Boston plans, I'm scared of failure. I think that's why I've been scared of the idea of love - I'm a happy sappy person, but when a guy shows interest, I shy away instead of open up to the idea of it. I'm scared of falling in love with the wrong person, getting married and find myself mid-life lying awake at night, miserable.
I'm scared to get my heart broken and make mistakes I'll regret later. It's all of this combined that makes me amazed at the uncertainty in life. When I decided to go to Tech, I knew I was making the right choice. I needed to get away, and I love looking at all I've accomplished. I was reading my journal entries from senior year yesterday. I love how I wasn't sure of where I was going or if I love what I was going into. A senior at Tech now, still in the field of journalism, I know all the decisions I've made are correct. I hope the path my life continues to lead is one I'll look back on and feel proud of.

Sweet Summertime

This time last month, I was staying at a Residence Inn in Maine. I had flown into Boston, inhaled the fresh air from the city I love and was about 70 minutes north. I had seen Bush's compound in Kennebunkport, watched the Bruins fall to the Canucks (sweet revenge came back) and downed some clam chowder and an entire lobster at the Weathervane. It was just like what you'd see in Country Living - small cottages by the sea, retired people hanging out, families by the pool, the smell of the warm ocean breeze and pleasant temperatures that made being outside manageable.
The following six days would be spent in Boston. My prior post was dedicated to that trip, so I won't go back and elaborate on the beauty of it. I am however craving a bowl of clam chowder from Legal Seafood in Seaport. Best chowder you'll ever put in your mouth.
I genuinely miss Boston and everything with it, and I find it hard to believe that this time next year (God-willing), I'll be up there. Everything just needs to fall into place, and shazam!

On a different note, I watched The Social Network for the first time ever (I know...being a Facebook addict, you might find this hard to believe), and I loved it. I grew a stronger appreciation for Facebook, even though Mark Zuckerberg spoke way above my level of understanding at times.
And while I'm talking about smart people, I have recently envied those with an outstanding intelligence compared to others. I wish I could use big words and flattery (without cheesing it up) and be able to really swoon people with my knowledge of every subject out there.  I wish I could go out and score straight As on everything just from studying the night before (or heck, morning of), talk politics without sounding like a ditz (no really...I can't deal with politics) and be able to hold firm the ground of the point I'm trying to make (ahem, law stuff).
I'm happy the way I am, even if I'm not the most intelligent person on the planet. I like the fact that I can have loads of fun and enjoy Ruston, despite the fact that 100 days out of the year, I complain about how boring and dull it is.
So anywho, this concludes tonight's blog about smart people. Maybe one day I'll study up on really big words, gain some intelligence on broader subjects, get into law and politics and become a better well-rounded person (and a nerd).

Boston and Everything With It

A little over two weeks ago, I came back to Louisiana after visiting home. While yes, I am from the south, Boston is definitely home. The people were friendly as ever, the Bruins won the Stanley Cup (it was beyond amazing) and I found some areas I would love to consider moving to.
Riding the subway at rush hour was the cherry on top of me wanting to move there. You're crammed into this small train with hundreds of others after a long day at the office, and you have your own set path to get home. You could just look at some people and tell how their day went. The journalist in me wanted to sit down and ask them how they ended up here (I'm pretty sure some people had a dream like mine and left everything to follow their true passion).
If you know me, you've heard me talk at least once about Boston, its sports teams or the desire to live up north. I know several factors could prohibit me from going: falling in love with someone who wants to live elsewhere from Boston, sudden illness in the family or something happening to me. My desire now is that it's not my personal wish to be up there, but rather it's my purpose.
Below are some pictures from my amazing time in New England :)

Two Months

Two months from today, I'll be in Boston. Until then, I have many changes to make.
When I move to Beantown, it'll be treated like a fresh start. I think that's why I'm such an avid fan of the song "Boston," mainly because I don't really know anyone up there, and I feel compelled to move there immediately.
Tomorrow will be the first of many changes, as I'm getting back on Alli. I'm hoping it'll have the same effects on me as it did senior year (I lost 25 pounds in one month). I kissed bad eating goodbye today after devouring Cajun Chicken Pasta from Chili's, a brownie dessert and a milkshake from McDonald's this afternoon (it was accompanied with fries).
So as I start my new journey tomorrow, I hope I'll learn much about myself the next few months. I want to lose 40 pounds before I go to Boston. I want my pre-hypothyroidism body.
I want to write about my accomplishments and post before and after pictures, satisfied with how I did this.

A Father's Love

This morning in church, I was taken back by this cute little redhead girl sitting in front of me. She was with her family -- a young, hip mom, preppy dad and super adorable brother (he was definitely a Ralph Lauren baby).
The entire service, I watched her as she sucked her thumb and glanced around. She was the quietest little girl I've ever seen, especially having not been older than three (we've all seen those toddlers in church that talk or whisper the entire time...she didn't do squat!).
During the sermon, her dad gently picked her up and placed her on his lap. She curled up in his arms, thumb in mouth. Her dad kept holding her tight and gently played with her hair. My heart melted like cookie dough on a warm baking sheet.
I was reminded of how we are with God. We can sit in his lap and accept his embrace anytime. We can chill and just stay there, doing absolutely nothing. I loved the visual image I got.
In general, I love watching young families at church - the mom who rushes in, making sure the family looks all nice and presentable, the dad carrying the baby bag with little Ella on his hip and Timmy toddling behind the family, kicking rocks as they walk in. I can only imagine what all they go through just trying to get out of the house, but seeing young families in church make my day.
It shows that they're following through their tradition. They're raising their kids properly. How I long for the day when I get to walk in church with my husband and kids. I love seeing godly husbands take their wives to church and being the spiritual leaders in the household. It's refreshing to know that there are still men like that out there.
I saw Pam Tebow Thursday night, and she gave my friends and me some words of advice I genuinely hold to heart.
"Ladies, God has the perfect man out there for you. All you can do is wait for Him to bring him to you. Don't settle for anything less. If God is big enough to create the whole world and you, He'll bring the right man along."
That hit me like a brick wall. I think girls these days believe they have to change themselves to cater to a guy. Here's the thing: you are fine as you are. Don't lose the extra 20 pounds for him - do it for yourself. Don't cake on extra makeup in hopes that he'll notice. Do it to boost your self esteem. Don't give in to what a certain guy wants. If he really wants you, he'll look beyond your flaws and like you for who you are.
And here's a key for guys: Sure, looks are big when scoping out the ladies, but go for the heart. For all you know, she might not be able to help that she has some extra weight (ever heard of thyroid disease???  I'm speaking from experience here). Never refer to a girl as "fat" in front of other women. And the final note: you don't always have to have a girl by your side. Personally, it's a turnoff when I see guys who date girl after girl or always have to be in a relationship. Be independent. Learn things about yourself while single (this definitely applies for the ladies, too).
I know a lot about being single, and trust me...I've learned much. It's nice having that person to chat to at the end of the day and knowing that you're always cared for...and it's nice having free food (for the girls, at least), but if you know it's not going to last, why waste your time?

So that's my spiel on it all.

Home

I came home from quarter break on Thursday and have had a surplus of time to clear my mind. I've enjoyed the little things in life - sunsets on the river, breezes, drives around town, local sushi, smiles and Target (yes, I threw this in the list).
I've gotten more sleep than imaginable, and I feel like a new woman. My mind has had plenty of time to clear as I prepare to tackle yet another quarter. It's hard to believe that I graduate in less than 15 months. College has been the best thing to happen in my life. I've learned from mistakes, made new friends and got to know people I never thought I would.

I have to go run to a doctor's appointment, but I figured I'd spend some time blogging :)

Finding Comfort in the Storm

While laying out the sports page for the school paper this morning, I got an urgent phone call from my mom. She usually calls and asks if I'm busy then spills. I was in the middle of doing something really important, and when I asked if it was urgent, she begged me to stay on the line.
My heart stopped.
I million things raced through my mind.
Then she spilled.
The next words that came out of her mouth reminded me of the horror in June. We had gotten in from a boat show in Gulfport, and it was just past midnight. I was about to climb into bed and turn off the light before she broke the news.
My grandpa had been rushed to the hospital due to a swollen stomach. The doctors found him at stage 3 stomach cancer, and he died 10 weeks later. This summer was the worst of my life and so hard, yet I learned so much.
As my mom started to tell me the urgent news, I took a deep breath.
My grandma, who has lived in San Antonio for years, fell yesterday morning. She was taken to the hospital (against her will), and the doctors ran a bunch of tests.
"Sarah, it's not looking good," my mom said, startled. "Just keep her in your prayers. I don't know -- my heart just breaks. First it was Paw Paw and now this."
Hearing her choke over the phone made me force myself to hold back tears. I went off in the corner, took a breath then went back in.
I hate acting like everything is okay, but what I hate even more is people knowing I'm upset about something -- I tend to lose it and break down in tears. I immediately went to the bathroom and just sobbed for a few minutes, thinking how much this sounded like June.
My grandma and I are pretty close. Out of all the grandchildren, I look just like her (which isn't a surprise -- my dad looks just like her as well, and I'm a spitting image of him).
Her husband passed when my dad was 16. He died of a massive heart attack while my dad was at school, and the last my dad saw of him was on the hospital table, the doctors trying to revive him. All attempts failed, and he left behind seven children -- the youngest an infant.
I have so much respect for my grandma. She's held strong, raised her children in a loving, Christian home and cares so much for her grandkids. She's the super cool grandma who's driven me around San Antonio and loves to talk to me about life.
We lovingly call her "Meemaw," and I shudder at the thought of losing her. I guess that's why I'm up at 2:18 a.m. writing this. I couldn't sleep, and insomnia has returned.
I had plans next week to see her. She turns 80 later this month, and our entire family is going out to visit her. My grandma has brought such joy and life to our family -- and we're extremely close.
I don't think I'd be so shook up about the news had I not just lost my grandpa. I think about him daily -- his blue eyes, smile, the way he would tell me he had green beans for me and sports talks.
I have constantly prayed all day for the health of my beloved grandma. I don't know if I can handle losing another loved one, especially in the span of a year.
I know God won't give you anything greater than your control, and He is always with me. I've been a terrible Christ-follower lately, and I'm not the perfect Christian (news flash: no one is), but I know that I can do better in my daily walk to fulfill His glory.
Please keep my family in your prayers. This isn't an easy time for any of us.
I have so much respect for my grandma and hope to grow old with the strength and wisdom she does. I know she loves her family and sees to it that we have all of our needs met.
I will blog updates as I hear more, but for now this is all I know.

2011

So the new year is finally here, and I am so excited about what 2011 will bring. Last year was the hardest year of my life, and I was so ready to greet midnight Dec. 31.
I've made resolutions since 3rd grade, but this year, they're genuine. They're obtainable. So here goes:
-Love daily
-Eat plenty of fruits/veggies
-Save money
-Cook more
-Improve posture
-Become culturized
-Stay organized
-Rest plenty

I know they're the most random resolutions, but I put a lot of thought in them. The local paper back home suggested improving posture and saving money. It suggested going a month without buying anything (besides groceries), and I was genuinely inspired. I could really go without buying clothes or things I just don't need. I always put that into consideration when buying now, and it has made a world of difference.

Anyways, I'm headed out with my roommate and her friends, but I hope everyone has a stellar 2011! Go Pats!